Lately people have been asking me a lot how I'm doing. And it's not just in the way of greeting, they genuinely want to know how I'm doing. That's because people want to make sure I'm doing alright now that Dave is gone. At first I would be honest with people about my emotional state, but I haven't been lately.
I'm kinda sick of people asking me how I'm doing, because truth is I have good days and bad days. And I don't want to talk about it with everyone. Because on those days when I'm feeling crappy, it just makes me feel even more crappy when I have to explain to people why I'm feeling crappy. I think things should go more like this:
You: Hi Dan, How are you doing?
Me: Oh, not so good.
You: Do you want to talk about it?
Me: No, I'd rather just keep it to myself.
You: Okay, I'm here if you ever need someone to talk to.
Me: Thanks!
The End.
I don't like lying about my emotions. I hate telling people things are going good, when really things are going terribly. But I feel kinda stuck because I know if I tell the truth, people will be concerned and want to know more (or maybe they're just being polite). Well, regardless, I probably don't want to talk about. Just ask me if I want to, then I will if I'm up for it.
So now that I've said that, I'm not doing very well lately. More or less the last few months I've been feeling crushed. Not all the time, but when it hits, it hits hard. I'm just so overwhelmed. I want to kick things over, and break people's necks, and run into the woods. But mostly I just want to stay in bed and do nothing. Okay, so I don't really want to do that. I really want to feel balanced, and normal.
Please don't give me advice, or tell me what to do. Don't panic or worry about me. Just listen (when I need it). Just be there. Live your own life and I'll live mine. I'm not worried. I'll get through this. Sometimes I just need to be brutally honest about my feelings, and other times I just need to push through them.
Thanks!
